norgacs1.38

When he touched the water it turned into thick, creamy Campbell's Chicken soup.
And then Jesus said that he totally smashed her box.
I said that I didn't believe him.
He then ruined my dog's box.
I believed him then.

norgacs1.37

So, I see you have yourself some 2B pencils there.
Nice.
Good for your joints they are.
Once you turn sixty seven you will be please you inserted them there.

norgacs1.36

She took off one sock.
Her right one one the left foot.
Brand: Nike.
I was impressed.
No holes.
More impressed.
She said she would be right back.
She crawled on her stomach to the mailbox.
I couldn't believe it.
She put her sick in there.
How would she eat dinner now with only one sock?
How would her taste buds cope?
They didn't.
her face melted and she became very timid.
Frigid bitch.

norgacs1.35

Three pens in my pocket.
I took one out.
Blue.
Not the feeling.
Just the colour.
Idiot.
Dirty pen.
I threw it away.
Dangerous.
I decided to sit in a large bucket.

norgacs1.34

Around.
Around.
And around.
Thirteen times in total.
Pervert man is dizzy.
His glasses are fogged.
He gets off the merry go round.
Pervert kid comes over.
They laugh at each other.
They exchange bodily fluids.
Perverted pleasure.

norgacs1.33

Four female pro wrestlers.
I sit and watch.
They are making toast.
Brown bread. Whole grain.
They all like jam and butter apparently.
But not Torpedo Jan.
Her look of disgust s very visible.
To me anyway.
Torpedo Jan doesn't even like toast.
Poor Jan.
We could be friends Jan.
I don't like toast that much either.

norgacs1.32

Hey, bald man.
Those really smooth parts look good to touch.
Finding it hard to control oneself.
Hard like a pedophile at a Wiggle's concert.
What would Jesus do?
Are you sure that is what he would do?
Done.

norgacs1.31

Does anybody have a grip?
Apparently it helps to have one.
What qualities does this grip evoke in you?
Consider shoe size in relation to the brand of cereal you eat.
What thoughts and feelings can you summon from your face?
Do you want my grip?
I don't need it.
I don't even eat cereal or wear shoes.

norgacs1.30

The sweat rolls off your brow.
Your brow is black.
Not blond like it used to be.
Blond is when you found your sister's capsicum tree in your wardrobe.
You didn't know that capsicums grew on trees.
You confronted her and asked if if was hers.
She confessed and told you that she was actually a he but now a she again.
You didn't understand but nodded anyway.
Both of you took a capsicum.
Hers was rotting but not rotten.
You hate capsicums.
The world is in a recession so you saved it for later.

norgacs1.29

Let me breath on your sweet tentacle face.
It is yuck.
I would like to put it in a white plastic bag.
Take it home.
Feed it to my children.
If I had some.
If I had some?
Let's have some.

norgacs1.28

Is it not fine for me to gaze longingly at your thumb muscles?
I know how you got them.
I know how you got them.
I really know how you got them.
Don't be depressed.
It is very unnatural.
How did you get them?

norgacs1.27

I got a bit of a feathery face yesterday.
Some people thought it was rather grand.
Others thought it was a bit too arrogant.
Either way, it helped me understand the true meaning of Fiscal Policy.
I am mad though.
Fiscal Policy has ruined my chances of being a professional wrestler.
I already had a name sorted out.
I can't remember it though.
Something to do with several undefined layers on Photoshop.
Don't tempt me.
I will call the police.
I will press charges.
And most of all, I will iron your favourite shirt.

norgacs1.26

When I look at you I feel like a lifeless sock.
One with a severe hole in the heel.
One that would irritate your foot if your wore it whilst running.
I would rather go and find a friend and put them on a lead.
At least then I would feel like more than just a sleazy goat.
Don't get me wrong.
I enjoy the company of goats.
They have a beatutiful complexion and can give an amazing back rub.
But that's not what I want in life.
I want to glisten in the sun like a wet mushroom.
I want sound like a new compact disk player.
I want to smell like organic compost with fresh avocado on top.
That's actually not vey comical.
Just go and comb your hair.
Keep the lice in a jar.
They could come in handy.

norgacs1.25

Don't cry for me Christchurch.
Just take some of that sexy curry powder that we bought at the supermarket today and sprinkle it on your face.
Then adjust your glasses so that they are on a slight angle.
People will then take you seriously.
It's a fact.
Like how death kills you.
Just ask that Pawnbroker we took your toenails to last week.
What a moist moment that was.
I drunk a whole 600ml bottle of mineral water while I watched you.
I was so quenched by the end.
Let's go collect lint.

norgacs1.24

Eat my delicious grains.
100 percent Protein drink.
I grew them for you.
My sandwiches murdered millions just to feed you cucumbers.
One grain for every million.
Do me like you would do the Pope.
All just for one person with Red Chuck Taylor size 7 Men's sneakers.
I have a really sore jaw.
Literally.

norgacs1.23

I recently noticed that your nose was curled to one side.
Awkward.
That's kind of like wearing a Swastika.
All over your face.
Doesn't go down well with the Homies.
Inappropriate?
Maybe.
Obease?
Only if you break a chair when you sit on it.
Feed it peanuts if you have some.

norgacs1.22

Oh my God!
I am an Apple pie!
Not my whole self though.
I am still multi-cultural.
I woke up and my face was soft soft pastry.
Where is the apple filling?
There is none.
It is just soft pastry.
Eat the soft pastry.
Just take small bites.
It's not that soft is it?
It's burnt.
Oh my Satan!
It's burnt.
Kill it!
Kill the burnt face.
I am a burns victim.

norgacs1.21

Ah.
I'm scared.
Ah.
Ah.
I'm scared.
Stop.
Bring it back now.
Ah.
It's too late.
It's too late.
Ah.
Bring it back now.
Freeeeeeeeeeeze frame.
More than two e's in the middle.
Freeze.
Frame.
Frame.
What?

norgacs1.20

Never go out with a computer technician.
They are such stud muffins.
How is your self esteem?
He wasn't vomiting at you.
He was vomiting with you.
You weren't even vomiting?
The truth is this.
You are repulsive.
Yuck.
Even more yuck.
Just give up.
It's for the best.

norgacs1.19

I don't understand.
What gives you the right to violate my foot area while I lay sleeping?
What gives you the right to cut each of my toes off one by one?
Obviously you assumed that I would appreciate such an act?
I did.
Thank you.
I especially appreciated the fact that you sewed my little toes to your eyelids.
You didn't expect my DNA to penetrate your body.
When our DNA combined we produced a super human being.
Michael Phelps.
I am half of him.
Worship me.